22 August 2010

“Main cheater tou nahi….”

Maimoona Ejaz




Allow me to showcase my distaste for the universal defamation against those who cheat. Furthermore, I believe that the word ‘cheat’ itself is potentially a highly derogatory term. Call us the Crusaders, please... Why? Obviously, we are on a crusade. That’s why. We were, are, and always will continue to stand united against the abuse that has disguised itself as an academia.

Those buildings made in the name of education have been playing with the dreams of countless since many years now. Spreading education is their idea, then why should we pay to execute their idea? Alright, we still go to the extent of throwing our money to fulfill their dream of “providing education”. What happens next? They burden us with baseless subjects comprising of unsubstantiated propagandas. If not that, then a set of some out-of-space ideas, generated by some brainy geek of the bygone days. If Einstein used eleven per-cent of his brain, it was his decision. Why should I copy him? Let me be original. Besides, he worked on the subject of his choice. Unlike us (the students), who are expected to be robots with no life of their own and take care of the bomb of subjects thrown upon us, rather ruthlessly. Whether I am made for numbers or not, I am to study Mathematics. No matter how much I loathe geography, I have to go through the torture. I am interested in knowing when’s Atif Aslam performing next but what I am fed with, is, when Muhammad Bin Qasim entered Sindh?
Like they say you can take the horse to the water but can’t make it drink. Similarly, when they can’t teach us what we want to learn; they shouldn’t expect us to learn the way they want us to.
But there’s an Armageddon towards the end of every story; there are exams to make our lives hell. And because most of us ‘crusaders’ believe in being a ‘ghazi’ more than a martyr, we have to take special measures to save our souls. And let me mention it’s not as easy as it sounds. Indeed, it’s a highly daunting process that has failure destined if one isn’t hard working, original and creative.

There are lots and lots of planning and preparation involved before one, as they like to put it, ‘cheats’. Do you think deciding where to hide those paper chits is an easy task? No way! Haven’t you seen how smart some teachers have turned these days? Hiding answers in socks and under pants is no more a viable solution. While pre-decided gestures still work but they are confined to the MCQ’s and/or answers having choices. So you see we too have to go through a countless hurdles to make sure we fight this establishment. And fight them well.

Many at times, we even have to make do with impromptu techniques (read ‘peeping into the neighbor’s work’/ sticking answers on the roof) and that sure needs guts and alertness.


With the advances in technology we had to become sophisticated in our ability to cheat. For example, now many of us are skilled enough to utilize text messaging with the phone hidden in a pocket. Some send exam answers to another student using this method. Not everyone can do it, I tell you.
I am yet to be convinced that “cheating” is immoral.  I shall continue to defend my clan and fight for it till our teachers and parents accept that we are humans too. What we need is not a bombardment of every other existing subject in the world, but something of our own choice.

43 comments:

  1. ''I am yet to be convinced that “cheating” is immoral. ''

    alright, yes, cheating might be a huge art, like you mentioned... but its immorality can hardly be doubted. and if it is okay, your next blog post better be on 'how proud a Crusader I am' which mentions all the instances in which you have used your 'techniques' in school.

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  2. Crusaders WE are!

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  3. well put Maimoona :D! and cheating is indeed a talent as who could be knowing this better than me :P

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  4. "And because most of us ‘crusaders’ believe in being a ‘ghazi’ more than a martyr, we have to take special measures to save our souls."
    Best part! Well written!

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  5. Good Piece Of Writing :))

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  6. LOL! I have been a witness to cheating through cell phones, erasers, "pharray", peeping, asking, whispering. Although I don't do it myslef, but I know the tricks of the trade as well. Not something I would want to brag about though!

    Tehmina

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  7. I hope no teacher reads this :)

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  8. nice effort by the writer to make cheating eligible :D

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  9. "I am interested in knowing when’s Atif Aslam performing next but what I am fed with, is, when Muhammad Bin Qasim entered Sindh?"
    LOL!

    I agree with Maryam Zahoor though. And I really enjoyed reading this, it was entertaining and refreshing but I personally don't support literal or so-called cheating :)

    No matter how cool it sounds, I happen to not be a Crusade LOL.

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  10. though i barely used to cheat but now i see that cheating is just too common plus im not a big fan of ratta-fication lol.......all set n done nice post

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  11. really a good one and thought provoking for those who think CHEATING is nothing more than a shame.. its better to nip the evil in bud or other way round stop expecting any good when its too late. if we were made to make our own decisions right from the beginning, i believe, no one would have fallen victim to CHEATING.. anyway nicely done.

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  12. Perfect Satire Script! Well-done!

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  13. I may not be a writer but from the few things I have learned about writing, take this constructive criticism as just that, not as an insult :) The idea behind the article is good. But the way it has been presented, by forcefully jamming difficult words in every sentence, takes away all the charm. Simple words would have suited the subject much more!

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  14. haah!!hilarious. its the first time iv written something by you though:P

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  15. It's a sarcasm- a cheat is trying to defend why he considers cheating is justified!
    I don't cheat, but that doesn't mean I can't write from a cheat's point of view. Shouldn't a writer put himself in someone else's shoe for the sake of writing? It's good humor.

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  16. Agreed! I absolutely defend cheating.Being an expert cheater myself, i think if whatever we are learning for the exam isn't going to help us eventually, then a bit of cheating to pass the test is better than flunking it and giving it again.

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  17. lol...after reading it..i feel cheating is my right =p

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  18. I agree with the commenter named Yusra. I would say that the concept was good. Though, I felt left out as it seemed like the focused target audience is the 'writer's clan' only and those who keep an 'Oxford Advance Learner's Dictionary' in their pockets. Finally, at the end of the article I realized it was not intended to be solemn. Apart from that if someone observe, each comment is telling a story itself except for few.

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  19. *Yusra and Anum: It's not difficult words, it's vocabulary- only those who have it, use it. And use it right.
    You will know the difference between difficult words and vocab the day you will be a writer. Not everyone who picks up a pen is a writer!
    You still have a long time to go my dear..Best of luck! :)

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  20. I writer has every right to jump into anyone's shoes for the sake of writing :)
    And because the post is about cheating we should stick to cheating and leave alone the moral obligations.
    Nicely done.

    Sudrish

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  21. Yo peeps! Y cant we just focus on the post's subject (cheating) n leave the rest?!
    Its a great piece man! Not many can write such stuff with ease! *Cheers*

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  22. okay great this is getting pretty controversial ;) :P

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  23. Good piece- humorous tone- Best way to highlight an issue! want more of ur wrtings..hehe greedy me! :D
    Maryam Z

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  24. Sowee to those who dnt knu wht Satirical wrting is! m sayin sowee, nt apologzing-Mind it! hehe :P
    Great effort :))

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  25. I thought this writing was above the KUrian's level :P but now I see some readers here! :)

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  26. yes, "Mein cheater nahi" lolz! No guilts!
    Crusaders sounds sooo respectful!

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  27. y don't u apply to a uni dat offers ur choice pf subject instead of using this as a stupid excuse to justify cheating

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  28. @ Safyah: It's about time people stop underestimating KU!!

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  29. "not everyone who picks up a pen is a writer.." well said but seriously do you think a person who is unable to deliver her point and just desperatly throws around so called vocabulary and strong oppinions without any evidence to back it up wat so ever is a writer? well my friend i dont think so :) your article shouted frustration which you let out by inturn frustrating the readers by coming on too strong and portraing cheating as a 'too good to be true' skill or shall i say a super power? and than you further proved your frustration by getting all sarcastic in return to a few lines off criticism. well pal from where i see you have a long way to go yourself so you might as well prepare for the journey! lastly I'd just like to add that i had a lot to say about your article but since you are so welcoming and mature towards criticism i wouldnt waste my precious time and "vocabulary" and only say what is most important. please do not compare your self with a Ghazi you are disrespecting a sacred position by comparing him to your clan and go ahead cheat away through your professional education but at least have the basic decency to be ahsamed or if thats too much to ask atleast stop taking pride in it since its high time you get out of denial and accept the ground reality that cheating is indeed immoral!

    ps: if my post gets deleted it would only prove that I've hit my target and you are not as sure of your argument as you so want the readers to believe.

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  30. Oh My God! This Anonymous certainly needs a BIG round of applause :p

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  31. well thanx for appreciating ayesha n now that i realize what i wrote last night couldnt be called nice, i'd like to clear that i had no grudges against the writer what so ever but it was the attitude that ticked me off and too further prove my point i'd like to take responsibility of what ever i wrote, I'm madiha raza a business student of IBA n i have no idea why i stumbled upon this blog.

    ps: dear writer i dont knw you so i hope you do not take this personally, not that it would matter. :p kidding m sorry if i said too much. peace!

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  32. hmmm, well Momo, having been the chief editor of my uni publication some years ago, I'd say the style of writing you chose is mediocre. however, had you picked a more sensible topic the "amateurishness" could have been ignored.

    don't let people bring you down though. i remember this one kid called Omar, who used to scan the InterNet for funny articles, poems etc and bring them into my office as his own contributions. well, i tried knocking some sense into the lad, and eventually banned him.

    what I'm trying to insinuate is that they key word is being "original" ;-)

    Cheerios,
    oh and my name is Ashar Siddiqi and I happen to be a content writer. (using my wife's account!)

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  33. @ Ashar: What is not-so-original about it?! :-S

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  34. Fascinating article, but who is the responsible for all those who cheat? Why don't authorities take any step against them? Why are they being so ignorant? Wake up call for all! True reflection of our institutions!!

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  35. u know i am not at all a supporter of cheating because there is always an option open to try something that is "not ur kinda subject". As i studied biology while cursing it and passed it without using unfair means !
    all it needs is a little effort :)
    nicely put momo :)

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  36. you have defended cheaters really well:D nicely wriiten:)

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  37. Being a cheater I realize that's how we defend ourselves every time :) hmm thought provoking..

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  38. These cheating tech's are more practiced in Uok thn ay other uni in Karachi..

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  39. According to an article in School Library Journal by Mr. Joan Oleck, a huge percentage of high school students–95%!!!–say they have cheated at some point in school. Their definitions of cheating ranged from allowing other students to copy their homework to cheating on tests.

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  40. lol i even can take the names openly who cheat so much openlY :D
    have u ever seen a girl so brave busy in cheating with 3 mobile phones at a time? at one mobile she cheats by using internet, on second mobile she texts to her friends and get answers and on third mobile she connects her hands free and ask questions orally by dialling a call to her fiance- who is now her husband!! :D

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