Jabbar Bhai ki treat

By Maimoona Ejaz

Jabbar Bhai, the canteen man at PG is a character unique in his own way. Perhaps the following incident will help elaborate why.

 Jabbar Bhai beamed on seeing a group of new students approaching him:

“Ayyey ayyey. Is university mai aap ko kuch pasand aye ya na aye; meri canteen ki cheezain  pasanad na aye yeh baat tou na mumkin hai bilkul.”

Student 1: "Acha? Kia khaas baat hai aapki canteen mai uncle?"

Jabbar Bhai laughs out loud and responds, “yeh poocho kia khaas baat nahi hai. Lagti hamari dukaan choti hai lekin hum ager mamooli si mamooli cheez ko special ker kai na dikha dain tou hamara naam Jabbar Bhai nahi!

Poochna chaho tou yeh (he flamboyantly points towards me as I get instantaneously embarrassed for listening to their conversation with such fervor) Maimoona se pooch lo. Kiyun beta?"

I: "Jabbar Bhai, sab chorain bus apni special chaat khila dain."

Jabbar Bhai glows with pride upon listening to my request :" Aray haan haan beta, kiun nahi? Tum tou aik din bhi nahi reh sekti meri special chaat ke baghair. Haina? Zara in bachon ko bhi batao kia khasyat hai meri is choti see canteen kee."

I realize I have to be an active part of this conversation and there’s no chance that I skip it. So I begin: "Aray yaar, mujhse poocho tou Jabbar bhai ke haath mai jo jadu hai na wo achon achon ke hathon mai nahi hota!"

Jabbar Bhai: "Yehi tou khaas baat hai bachon. Jitna bus mera huq hai us se aik paisa bhi zaada lena meray liye karz ho jata hai.

(Here I failed to agree with the ultimate generosity Jabbar Bhai showed towards his vanity).

But I decided to carry on for the sake of fun : "Array nahi bhai, Jabbar Bhai tou bus jesay apnai hee hain. Pesay kam to choro kabhi kabhi yeh muft ke garam garam French fries bhi khilatay hain. Jabbar bhai, zara in logon ke saamnai muzaahira tou ho jaye." (I laughed inside and was somehow successful in not showing it)

A sudden change in Jabbar Bhai’s facial expressions was laudable. He hesitated for a moment and then came a convenient lie :"Oh..woh..french fries tou khatam ho gaye…werna mai zaroor khilata!"

I had done my part so I decided to move on with the chaat in my hand. While leaving I heard one of the students speak : "Jabbar Bhai aap fries banayen, hum abhi class le ker aatay hain. Aaj tou muft ke fries khain gai.'

I glanced back towards the canteen, finding Jabbar Bhai looking towards me. I am sure I don’t need to explain what kind of expressions he had.